I like Spinsterhood

This past week has been pretty interesting. For many reasons but more so for the fact that every man I seemed to have spoken to kept raising the ‘why don’t you have a man’ question.

A friend from primary school and I had a 3 day online chat, each day, picking up from where we left off. That concluded with ‘I intimidate men’. The fact that I have an opinion and I am not afraid to defend it, according to my friend, was how I intimidated men. That and also because I like to challenge and equally be challenged intellectually. I just call that being spineless.

If you are not able to stand up and defend your opinion intellectually then what are you left with?  Another guy I met who was a potential source for a good story ended up using my contact details as a means of informing me that he was head over heels in love with me. LIES! How do you love someone you barely even know?

Then there was a friend of mine who told me that after a fellow journalist gave her details of a press conference, he expected her to give up the goods.

I have said it before in previous posts and as the days go by there I have a reason to continue thinking the same. What am I getting at? I think the average (not all) but the average Kenyan man is intellectually challenged and has absolutely no clue whatsoever on how to approach a woman. Staring at a woman suggestively is suitable when you are on K Street looking for a ‘fun time’. How about learning how to converse with a woman and take things slow.

I also would suggest that if you like a woman; tell her to her face from the get go. Some women may disagree with me, but I am not one who likes to play games. It is time wasting, and exhausting.  Declare your intentions, if she doesn’t feel you, then kill it. Don’t act like you are 15 years old and you don’t have any clue of how to tell a woman you like her. That is in the context that you are meeting socially.

But when I am talking business and you barely know me and you fling you’re undying love for me, whether true or not. It is completely unprofessional. You may disagree with me. But if you are out there hoping to seduce me, do your homework. I am an unconventional woman, I am not afraid to express my opinion and I appreciate a man who appreciates himself. Insecurity is easy to sense. I also appreciate forwardness and honesty.

Case in point, a matatu tout in my neighbourhood questioned my sexual orientation. It was so random. I was reading a book in the matatu and he asked me, ‘are you straight?’ I was shocked and I burst out laughing. How retarded is that? I do talk to this guy on occasion.

I asked him why he asked me that. And he simply reasoned that he hadn’t seen me with a man. Wow! Shallow! I laughed. I find it fascinating that the sexual orientation of others becomes a personal concern because of your perceived limitation of their social interaction; of which you are not part of. I honestly find it fascinating!

All said and done; I may not be confused right now. But I chose to remain a spinster for now. There is no hurry and I have other areas of concern to focus on rather than another human being. And to sum it up; here is a toast to all the single and comfortable bachelors and spinsters.